Yesterday started out easy and ended up being what felt like the longest day in history! I started out with a bowl of Trader Joe’s High Fiber mixed with Quaker Oat Squares topped with dried blueberries, ground flax seed and milk. Yum. Yum. Yum. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
Shortly after breakfast, things got a little hairy. I went downstairs to talk to The Chef about lunch when the F & B Director roped me into doing a coffee tasting. We tasted four varieties that left me zooming around unable to think straight. Kinda like a wine tasting but different 🙂 Finally, about an hour later than normal, I got lunch. At that point, I really didn’t care what it was so I chose the staff lunch. A tuna salad wrap with cheese
and a few, like 5, homemade chips. MMmm….homemade chips.
After lunch was when it all came tumbling down. In my caffeine craze, I made a pretty big work mistake. Assessing it now, I even think it is the biggest mistake I have ever made in this job. Trying to fix the mistake left me feeling frantic and on the brink of a panic attack. I finally settled down once I talked it out with The Pro. Thankfully, he is a good boss and was very understanding and helped me clearly see the correct solution.
I left work feeling edgy which is never good and to top it off, I had double therapy. Once with my therapist and group. My regular therapy session was very productive. We discussed a topic that I’m not ready to publicly talk about but I will say that it was good to get it out there and start the process of forgiveness. I am really on my path to healing.
After regular therapy, I met the dear husband at Moe’s for a quick dinner before group. I had a cheese quesadila with chips (that I didn’t eat)
and a pinto bean taco.
Yum. It was all fantastic but I was still a little hungry when I left. Probably because my crazy afternoon caused me to miss my afternoon snack. Anyway, after we ate, I headed to group. This week, we discussed spirituality which is another loaded topic for me. A few books were suggested as reading material and I have already ordered them on Amazon.com. What I took most from the session is that I am not the only one that feels the way I do about religion/god/spirituality. I’m wondering if that could be another common denominator between those with ED. Anyway, we made spiritual vision boards and I took a picture of mine for you to see. What do you think?
After I got home, I was still hungry so I had an orange.
Eating the orange felt like a major step in the right direction for me. After an emotionally taxing day, I felt physical hunger and instead of taking that as an opportunity to hang out with ED, I ate and went to bed.