I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life. At my heaviest, I was 220lbs and at 5’2, that ain’t pretty. The day that I realized that I was fat I began Weight Watchers online. I did the flex plan and lost about 14lbs but I wasn’t getting results fast enough. I tried the atkins diet and the weight melted off; I lost 40lbs in a matter of a couple months. I was in the 160’s rockin’ my size 14 clothes until one day my toe hurt so bad I couldn’t walk. Atkins had given me gout; my doctor told me to stop the diet right away. So, I moved on to The Dr. Phil diet followed by a year long hiatus. During that time, I gained back 20lbs.
When I realized that I had gained so much back, I went back to doing weight watchers online. Again, I started with the flex plan and after a week, I switched to core. On core, I learned about eating healthy and how to eat when I was hungry and stop when I was satisfied. Things I had never known about in my entire life. Up until that point, I thought that stuffed was the normal feeling after eating. I had never been taught about portion sizes or even that you should only eat when you are hungry. I believe that core saved my life.
I followed the core program for about a year and made my way down to 143. That is when I heard of intuitve eating. I read every book about IE that I could meanwhile trying to put the principles into practice. I started digging deep into my emotions and learing all of the reasons why I choose food as my main source of comfort. And some how all of this turned into binge eating. I was doing myself more harm than good. I gained almost 20lbs and with my wedding looming around the corner, I decided it was time to diet again. Back on core I went.
Then, I began the vicious cycle of diet and binge. I would follow core for a few days and then delve deep into a binge. Then back on core I’d go. This happened for months. Finally, I got married and went on my honeymoon. I gained another 10lbs. When we returned, my first instinct was to go back on core, so I did. And low and behold the diet and binge cycle began again except this time a day or two of dieting would send me into binge mode. And that is when I decided that I had to give intuitive eating another shot. But this time, I had to actually do it. I couldn’t use it as an excuse to curl up with a jar of nutella every night.
So, I have been trying to put into place some of the intuitive eating principles and just be happy with my self and food. My weights seems to be fluctuating up and down a few pounds which is normal. One of the principles of intuitive eating is that you have to be happy with the way that you are and that it shouldn’t be just another form of a diet. I’m learning to love my body for what it is and am becoming happier with my weight. One thing is for sure, i’d rather be the size that I am than diet and binge for the rest of my life.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at whatiateyesterday [at] gmail.com