Sushi Thursday

Yesterday started with yet another bowl of quaker oat squares mixed with Trader Joe’s High Fiber Cereal. I topped the bowl off with dried blueberries, ground flax seed and milk. Maybe one day I will get a little more adventurous with my morning bowl 🙂

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About mid morning, I felt a little hungrier than usual so I snacked on this lovely orange.

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Breakfast may have been dull but lunch was very exciting, at least to me! T and I decided to start up our weekly sushi run again despite it being the slow season for golf. During the season, we have lots of errands to run which makes sushi runs much easier. Now days, we rarely have to go anywhere and with civilization a 15 minute drive away, sushi isn’t the most convenient lunch. But we both love it so we are going to try to get out more for it. Yesterday, I chose a kryptonite roll, which is tuna, cukes, avocado, crunchy and spicy sauce, and a sweet potato roll. After the picture was taken, I added a little extra rooster sauce for some kick.

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I ended up working really late so our evening wasn’t very exciting. I made shrimp and veggie stir fry with brown rice for dinner

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and had a small bowl of chocolate coconut milk ice cream for dessert. I have said before that the vanilla is my favorite but last night I was starting to think that maybe my favorite is the chocolate. I guess I will just have to keep eating them until I am sure 🙂

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Question: Do you tend to eat the same things over and over again? I’d say that I do but I am also pretty adventurous when trying new foods to make for dinner. I do tend to eat the same breakfasts and lunches over and over again.

What A Day

Yesterday started out easy and ended up being what felt like the longest day in history! I started out with a bowl of Trader Joe’s High Fiber mixed with Quaker Oat Squares topped with dried blueberries, ground flax seed and milk. Yum. Yum. Yum. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

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Shortly after breakfast, things got a little hairy. I went downstairs to talk to The Chef about lunch when the F & B Director roped me into doing a coffee tasting. We tasted four varieties that left me zooming around unable to think straight. Kinda like a wine tasting but different 🙂 Finally, about an hour later than normal, I got lunch. At that point, I really didn’t care what it was so I chose the staff lunch. A tuna salad wrap with cheese

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and a few, like 5, homemade chips. MMmm….homemade chips.

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After lunch was when it all came tumbling down. In my caffeine craze, I made a pretty big work mistake. Assessing it now, I even think it is the biggest mistake I have ever made in this job. Trying to fix the mistake left me feeling frantic and on the brink of a panic attack. I finally settled down once I talked it out with The Pro. Thankfully, he is a good boss and was very understanding and helped me clearly see the correct solution.

I left work feeling edgy which is never good and to top it off, I had double therapy. Once with my therapist and group. My regular therapy session was very productive. We discussed a topic that I’m not ready to publicly talk about but I will say that it was good to get it out there and start the process of forgiveness. I am really on my path to healing.

After regular therapy, I met the dear husband at Moe’s for a quick dinner before group. I had a cheese quesadila with chips (that I didn’t eat)

there really is a quasadila under those chips

there really is a quasadila under those chips

and a pinto bean taco.

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Yum. It was all fantastic but I was still a little hungry when I left. Probably because my crazy afternoon caused me to miss my afternoon snack. Anyway, after we ate, I headed to group. This week, we discussed spirituality which is another loaded topic for me. A few books were suggested as reading material and I have already ordered them on Amazon.com. What I took most from the session is that I am not the only one that feels the way I do about religion/god/spirituality. I’m wondering if that could be another common denominator between those with ED. Anyway, we made spiritual vision boards and I took a picture of mine for you to see. What do you think?

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After I got home, I was still hungry so I had an orange.

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Eating the orange felt like a major step in the right direction for me. After an emotionally taxing day, I felt physical hunger and instead of taking that as an opportunity to hang out with ED, I ate and went to bed.

Shout Out, Shout Out, Shout Out

Before I get into the fab food I had yesterday, I want to give a couple of shouts outs! First, to my dear friend, Mara, over at What’s For Dinner for giving props to my new bead page, thanks Mara!  Next up on the shout out list is the lovely Heather at Hangry Pants, they are doing an almond butter giveaway so get on over there and get dibs!! And last, but certainly not least, is Brandi, she just posted the BSI ingredient for this week  and there are prizes involved so get on over there and submit your recipes!!

Ok, now that we have taken care of the general blog administration, we can talk about the food. I had a fantastic day of food! I started out with another bowl of All Bran Strawberry fields, but this time, in addition to the ground flax seed, I added a few dried blueberries! Now THAT is what I am talking about, so good!

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For lunch, I had The Chef make me a small salad to fill my veggie slots for the day

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along with a bowl of black bean soup topped with cheese and sour cream. I pulled the soup out of the freezer which is always good for a quick lunch.

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I had a really busy afternoon, so busy, I forgot to eat my snack. I was heading down the highway to meet the dear husband for an errand when my stomach was rebelling against my bad memory. I searched my bags only to find that my bar stash was wiped clean. I called the dear husband to see what he had in his stash and he didn’t have anything either. Luckily, one of the errands was right next to Panera so I stopped in and got a mango smoothie. It is normally just the fruity mix and ice so I had them add in a little vanilla yogurt for some staying power. The smoothie was good but it would be better in the summertime!

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After our errands, I was really cold and craving a warm sandwich so we stopped into one our favorite local spots to pick up grilled subs. We got them to go so that we could get home at a decent time. Mine was a vegetarian with lots of toppings. They put these really delicious sweet peppers on it with a really zesty Italian dressing. These things are killer!

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On the side, we shared an order of sweet potato fries. They were a little soggy from being in the to go bag but they were tasty none the less.

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We spent the evening watching a little tv and reading. I am a little behind on my group therapy book so I needed to catch up before tonight’s session!!

Jicamaless Purgatory

Thanks to everyone who checked out and commented about my new jewelry page!! It means so much to me to have people appreciate my craft. I was telling Brandi that it was really hard for me to put myself out there like that even though I talk about my food and disordered eating so easily. I guess it comes from a different place in the heart.

I woke up feeling almost normal yesterday, yay me. I think the cold portion of my sickness is gone and only a little of the sinus infection lingers! For breakfast, I had a new cereal that I originally picked up for the dear husband. It was All Bran Strawberry Fields that I topped off with ground flax seed and milk. Oh, it is so good! It really reminds me of the red berries in Captain Crunch 😀

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The Pro had an off site meeting so lunch was really late. To hold me over, I had what is normally my afternoon snack. Greek Yogurt with peach slices and a sunflower seed butter spoon. I have only seen the nut butter/greek yogurt a couple of times in blogland and maybe I know why now, it isn’t that great. I think it was a texture thing.

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The Pro arrived with lunch shortly after 1, he picked up Firebird’s so I got my usual grilled salmon on salad with roasted pecans. There was no jicama this time and that made me very sad 😦 The jicama is usually my favorite part. 

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Once I got home from work, I felt well enough to give the treadmill a shot. I hadn’t done any exercise since being sick so I decided to do a walk/run interval program that is mainly just walking. It felt good, the only sign of sickness I had was a runny nose and I could tell it had been a while because I struggled with some of the incline segments. The important thing is that I made it through and that I got back at it. I have a tendency to let exercise slide and before I got sick, I was really doing well with being consistent. So, it was nice to feel “back on track”.

After my jaunt on the treadmill and a quick shower, I made dinner. Once again, I used Brandi’s Blogas  inspiration. I’m actually starting to wonder what I ate before she started blogging?? 🙂 I made eggs in purgatory which is eggs poached in marinara sauce.

this is the pan straight out of the oven

this is the pan straight out of the oven

I ended up cooking the eggs too long as the yolks were fully cooked so I don’t think I got the full effect. I served it over brown rice and think next time, I will serve it over polenta and let it cook a little less time. After dinner, I had a bite of leftover brownies to satisfy my sweet tooth.

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Fews Words, Lots O’ Pictures

First, I want to give a shout out to a very special person in blogland, Lee, at For the Love of Peanut Butter! She is hosting a secret cupid blogger valentines day gift exchange. Be sure to pop on over there and sign up for the exchange, the deadline is TODAY!!!

I ate breakfast at home again yesterday because I went in late due to ice on the roads. I had a bowl of fiber one shredded wheat and quaker oat squares topped with dried blueberries, ground flax seed and milk. This is becoming my new favorite stand by breakfast. *Edited to add* There is no picture because it is on my other computer 😦

For some reason at lunch time, I was craving my afternoon snack so I went with it. I had greek yogurt topped with mixed berries. I added a few mixed nuts after the photo was taken.

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To be sure to get in my veg for the day, I had the chef make me a really big salad with oil and vinegar.

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I also had some sauteed spinach that was out for staff lunch.

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By mid afternoon, I was hungry again so I had a big ole orange to hold me over.

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The dear husband was kind enough to make his specialty for dinner since I worked two hours later than normal. Frozen Pizza :)!! This time we had the mediteranian vegetable, so good!

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After dinner, I had the last of my mini toblerones from Christmas time. I will miss these little guys.

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I was really stressed out because of work so after dinner we just talked and watched tv. Hopefully, I can get completely caught up today so that I can leave the stress behind. I’m sure part of it is because I haven’t exercised since Sunday due to being sick. I’m totally looking forward to sweating out some agression in yoga tomorrow!!

Beware: Long Post Ahead with TWO recipes!

Thanks for being patient with me yesterday, we had a really busy day and I knew I wouldn’t give Friday justice if I wrote about it yesterday.

Friday was a nice day, it started out with a cafe au lait on my way to work and then a breakfast wrap once I got there. I asked The Chef for something different that the egg sandwiches I had been eating and he came up with a great wrap. Inside the wrap was scrambled eggs, potatoes, green peppers and onions. There was also something really spicy inside but I couldn’t figure out what it was, maybe jalapenos. No matter what the spicy element was, it was delicious!

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For lunch, I had staff lunch again since it was vegetarian pizza. The pizza was topped with every veggie in the rainbow and I had a small salad on the side.

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Around 3, my stomach was rumbling again so I had a the coconut cream pie larabar. OMG. I loved this bar, I haven’t been a fan of coconut until recently and this little bar really packs a coconut punch. I really enjoyed it and plan to add it to normal bar rotation 🙂

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Last weekend, I  made a bag of dried butter beans and I knew I wanted to try my hand at making butter bean burgers. I googled it and low and behold I found my friend Jessy’s blog.  Jessy’s recipe is vegan and I didn’t have nutritional yeast on hand so I made some modifications. Here’s how it went:

Butter Bean Burgers

Makes 6 burgers

3 cups cooked butter beans (if using canned, should be about 2 cans drained and very well rinsed)

1 diced onion

1 diced red pepper

1 tbsp crushed garlic

olive oil for sauteing

2 tbsp minced jarred jalepenos

1 cup bread crumbs

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

1 egg

garlic powder, onion powder, salt and pepper (all to taste)

In a medium saute pan on medium heat, saute onions and red pepper in olive oil until the onions are translucent and then set aside to cool slightly. Meanwhile, mash the beans with a potato masher until most of the beans are completely mashed, you do want to leave a few whole beans for texture. Add in the remaining ingredients and combine well with a wooden spoon. Form the mixture into six patties.

Once the patties are formed, you have a couple of choices. You can freeze them for later use or you can cook them right away. When you are ready to cook them, heat a little olive oil in a cast iron skillet (or regular if you don’t have cast iron) on medium low heat and cook the patties about 4 minutes on each side. If you cook them from frozen, it may take a little longer. You can also bake them in the oven for about 16-18 minutes at 350* if you prefer and oilless method.

The butter bean burgers were fabulous! I served them on Sandwich things with jack cheese, ketchup and mustard.

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On the side we had sweet potato fries, mmmm.

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For dessert, I had a TINY amount of Turtle Mountain coconut milk vanilla ice creamwith a nutella spoon. I would have had a larger portion but it was all we had left 😦 Let me tell you, people, this is GOOD stuff. I love it love it love it! If you don’t like coconut, you probably will not like it but if you do, you are in for a real treat.

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After dessert, off to bed I went. We had to wake up early to make it to yoga on time. Once we were up, I had a cafe au lait and a bowl of cereal. I had a mixture of Fiber One Shredded Wheats, Quaker Oatmeal Squares, ground flax seed and dried blueberries all topped with milk. This was a great bowl of cereal, since I had been in a rush all week, I was missing my morning bowl of cereal! I ended up not finishing the whole bowl but the dear husband was there to polish it off 🙂

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After last week’s yoga debacle, I received an email from the studio owner letting me know she was sorry for what happened and wanted to assure me that the class IS a vinyasa I and II class. She is also giving me a free class sometime soon, which is always good. I feel so much better now that I heard from her, I really didn’t want to leave my yoga home. 

This week’s class made up for last week’s, that is for sure! We started out with the breath of fire and continued to build heat from there. We did lots of sun salutations (yay!), a gorgeous standing flow that included warrior I, warrior II, triangle, side angle, moon warrior, standing splits into PIGEON!! Oh my, was it ever great. After the standing flow, we worked on arm balances and then she challenged us to give wheel a try. We warmed up with bridge and then gave it a go. I had only every tried wheel pose once before on a yogadownload and I couldn’t get myself up. This time, I could get up but I could not get my head off the floor. Rest assured, I will keep at it until I get it. We ended the class with shoulder stand. I noted during class that shoulder stand had just become a normal pose for me. Six months ago, I could not get myself into it. It is amazing what the body can do with practice!

After the powerful yoga class, I was ready to face the day. Even the dear husband, who normally prefers hatha, said he felt great and more awake after the class. This was unusual for him because he normally doesn’t “get” the mental affects (or should it be effects?) of yoga, he does yoga purely for the stretch. We were both on cloud nine as we went about our errands.

Once we were home, we had a quick lunch. I made Boca Spicy “chicken” patties on whole wheat english muffins with blue cheese dressing.

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On the side we had steamed green and yellow beans with “carrot balls”  tossed in olive oil, sea salt and garlic.

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And for an extra spicy kick, a hot and spicy pickle. I actually could not finish the pickle because it was just TOO spicy.

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For lunch dessert, I had two cherry cordial kisses. So good!

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After lunch, we cleaned the whole house, with the exception of the office. The only time the house gets cleaned these days is when we are having company 🙂 While we were scrubbing, I made caramel lattes to get us through.

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Once we were finished, I had a little food prep to take care of followed by girly maintenance. Our friends, Becky, Cris along with their two small children, Kristen and Reagan, arrived at six on the dot and we started dinner. I planned an easy dinner because I knew we would be busy, and since I am working to find balance in my life, easy was the way to go. I made baked salmon that I marinaded in fat free balsamic dressing

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And what I am calling cauliflower bake. The first time I had this, my friend Sarah made it and both the dear husband and I fell in love with it. After consulting with Sarah, I figured out how to make my own version.

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Cauliflower Bake

16 oz of cauliflower florets, I used frozen

1 package (8 wedges)  light laughing cow cheese

1/2 tbsp crushed garlic

1 tbsp minced onion

1 cup bread crumbs

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp olive oil, divided

1 cup water

cooking spray, I use a misto with olive oil in it

Pre heat the oven to 350* and prepare a baking dish with cooking spray. In an large skillet, saute the cauliflower in 1 tbsp olive oil until it caramelizes slightly. Season with salt and pepper and then add water to the pan and cover. Cook until the cauliflower is completely cooked through, you can test it by mashing it with a fork, if it turns to mush, it is ready. Drain the cooked cauliflower and place into a mixing bowl. Add in the garlic, onion, cheese and salt and pepper. Mash with a fork until almost smooth.

In a separate bowl, mix bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, a little salt and pepper and the remaining 1 tbsp olive oil. Mix well until you have a fine crumb mix, you may need to adjust the ratio depending on how dry your crumbs are.

Add the cauliflower mix to the prepared baking dish into a smooth layer. Top with the breadcrumb mixture and bake for about 15 or 20 minutes until the crumbs are golden brown.

We also had some kale the escaped the camera because it steamed up my lens and I was too impatient for it to cool down. The cauliflower seemed to be the star of the evening, well, if you exclude the wine.

During the evening, we drank wine

Our friend Cris opening a bottle of local wine

Our friend Cris opening a bottle of local wine

and nibbled on an impromptu cheese tray.

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It was a lovely night with friends and we can’t wait to do it again soon.

Figuring It Out

Thanks to all of your for your sweet words on yesterday’s post. It means so much to me to have the support of such a wonderful community of bloggers. Working on recovery from ED is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with with the exception of the loss of my brother. Probably because it encompasses so much. Not only do I have to deal with all of the things that have happened to me in my life, I have to learn to deal with everyday life, too. For so long, food has been my source for dealing and taking that away is a long hard process.

Yesterday was another long hard day but I seemed to making it through without using food. I made a cafe au lait for my ride to work and then had breakfast when I got there. It was another repeat but so good. I had greek yogurt topped with berries, granola and flax seed. The addition of the flax seed was wonderful, it gave it a nice nutty flavor.

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For lunch, I had staff lunch because I wasn’t really in the mood for what I brought and rarely does staff lunch fall into the pescatarian category. It was poached salmon with mashed potatoes

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and I got a salad on the side for some good green veg.

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The salmon was really delicious, it was perfectly cooked and seasoned. For lunch dessert, I had two small squares of dark orange chocolate. So good!

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For my afternoon snack, I had a nut and seed bar that I found on a recent trip to the grocer. It was pretty tasty, it wasn’t too sweet and the sunflower seed flavor really shined.

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After work, I had therapy. I was really looking forward to the session because I had been in such a funk I really wanted to talk it out. My therapist wanted to dig deeper than “I’m in intense therapy and it sucks” and after some reflection we realized that my most recent funk has many layers and is the result from the lack of balance I have in my life right now. The downward spiral seemed to start with my crappy yoga class on Saturday followed by a really long list of things to accomplish over the weekend. Yoga is vital to my well being and I am truly dependent on it for my sanity. Down time is also crucial to me and lately, I haven’t had much of that. I have been very on the go with errands, work, the gym and therapy. And last but not least, I need some friend time. Life has been so crazy, I have only spent time with friends for quick workout classes and haven’t gotten any good quality time to just hang out and have a good time.

Balance is what I need. I’ve decided that I really need to re-evaluate how I am spending my time and prioritze the things that are most important to keeping me healthy. Hopefully, over the next couple of weeks, I can get everything that I need to done while finding the time to just be. I think two major adjustments needs to be made to accomplish this. I need to make some adjustments to my workout schedule and I need to realize that now is not the time in my life for long complex meal processes. While cooking is a beautiful form of meditation for me when it becomes stressful like it has been, then it is time to rethink things. So be prepared for more quick and easy meals as I search for balance.

Speaking of quick and easy :), I made a quick and easy dinner after therapy. Grilled cheese on sandwich thins with Amy’s Low in Sodium Tomato Bisque soup.  This is a meal that I just don’t seem to be tiring of this winter.

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For dessert, I decided to test the waters with nutella. As most of you know by now, nutella is a major red light food for me. It is a food that I have tried “legalizing” in my life many times and have never really been successful. It always seems to trigger a binge for me. So, last night I had a small bowl of Stoneyfield Farms froyo with a nutella spoon on the side. No binging, no spoon directly moving from jar to mouth and no second thoughts about it. I just enjoyed it which is a major accomplishment for me.

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Thought Provoker: What creates balance in your life?