Do It Anyway

At 4:30 AM yesterday, the alarm went off and I groaned. Oh, I really did not want to get up to workout. I talked myself into by telling myself that, for me, skipping a planned workout day always leads to skipping three weeks of workouts. I knew that I didn’t want that, so, I got up and did it anyway! One hour on the treadmill later, I was done with my workout and glad that I did.

On the way to work, I had a chocolate cafe au lait and had breakfast once I got settled in. I had shredded wheat with almonds and milk. I had planned an apple but the cereal did a good job of making me satisfied so I skipped it.

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For lunch I had this little salad from the staff lunch with oil and vinegar dressing and leftover skillet lasagna. The dressing on the salad was so good! I really would like to know everything that was in it so I could make something similar at home.

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Around go time, I had greek yogurt with thawed frozen cherries and walnuts. This snack had tons of holding power and got me through the rest of the afternoon and my therapy session.

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Therapy was good. We first discussed my feelings about last week’s session. She said that she could tell that I was feeling very misunderstood which was true. Misunderstood is a feeling I feel very often. I feel like I am often back peddling and explaining myself even when I haven’t done anything “wrong”. After that, we talked about my joining WW again. We got into a lengthy discussion about how I plan for this time to be different. We talked about my binging and my “I don’t care” (the days that I eat without regard to my health) days. We talked about why I always quit.

The whole discussion was enlightening. I realized that my binging comes from emotional triggers rather than dieting and that my “I don’t care” days come from feelings of deprivation. This realization is big progress for me and my mind set. Mainly because it will help me in the future to pick myself up and keep trudging along. I realize now that we all have our struggles and that we all have days that the pizza sounds better than the size of our pants. But the key is to move on from it instead of letting it turn into an all out food festival.

ย I also realize that moderation is a big issue for me and that this time, I will incorporate the foods that I love to eat. I will enjoy treats or even treatย days but instead of turning it into days and days of not eating healthy, I will move on and keep going with my plan. I also am accepting up front thatย I will make mistakes and that instead of beating myself up, I need to learn from them. And better still, I hope that this process will one day be an intuitive one. Until then, I need to learn my boundaries and get rid of my fat suit. I hope to one day stop using food as love and instead, I will express my thoughts, fear and deepest emotions.

My great therapy session led me into feeling good about dinner. When I got home, the dear husband had made a frozen pizza and steamed broccoli, his specialty ๐Ÿ™‚ The pizza was the Mediterranean Vegetable from Target and it was really good, it had cheese, spinach, sun dried tomatoes.

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Dessert was a vitamuffin with chocolate and peanut butter chips, mmmmmm.

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Thought Provoker: Does your black and white thinking get in the way of a healthy relationship with food?

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12 Responses

  1. It ALWAYS feels amazing after the workout ๐Ÿ™‚

    Glad that therapy went well!!

    Oooh, such a colorful, veggie-ful dinner ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Glad that you convinced yourself for the morning workout…I know how great it feels when you finished it.

    I used to have black or white thoughts toward food during my yo-yo dieting period. it was awful! I always said to myself: okay, this is the last cookie that you’ll have this week! And just one second after that cookie, another comes and comes! I felt miserable!!! And I think it was because we just don’t want to follow a rule, the simple idea that i won’t be able to do something that I want makes me want to break the rule right away. That’s precisely I think intuitive eating is so important! At least for me!
    have a great day~

  3. You are a trooper for getting yp so early to get your workout in! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. So glad you had a great therapy session! I love vitamuffins!

  5. Mm, that salad looks yum-may. Each day I’ve been to the gym, I’ve noticed that I keep wanting to go earlier and earlier. Tomorrow it’s 5:30. I like how there is no one there that early.

  6. Do It Anyway. That’s a great mantra. ๐Ÿ™‚ Congratulations on doing it.

    Oh, Christie, I totally agree with the ‘all or nothing’ mentality. It’s a difficult mind-set to change; especially with emotional triggers sending me flying to the kitchen. I’m working on it, though.

  7. Yes. I have no idea when or why it started because I used to be the opposite.
    If I indulged in something really caloric or decadent during the day I’d have the mindset of “ok, now I’ll just eat healthy the rest of the day and exercise…no big deal”.
    But over the past few years I somehow developed the ALL or NOTHING mentality. Which is the worst!!! I’m trying to get to the same place as you – where I enjoy my favorite, more decadent foods in moderation and just balance it out with healthy foods and exercise.

    It all seems so easy, why do have to make things so complicated? The human mind is a strange strange thing…

  8. I’m proud of you for getting up soooooo early!
    I definitely have black and white thinking, and it totally gets in my way. I can’t just eat one cookie and move on. Its 4 or 5 and then I say “screw it, I’m messed up for the day, I’ll do better tomorrow”.

  9. I’m still so impressed with your early morning workouts. It’s inspiring! Helped me get my arse out of bed at 5:50 am today. Heck, that’s late for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have changed my black and white mentality to a beautiful shade of gray. ๐Ÿ™‚ I like it much more!!!

  10. Yes, I can relate to just about everything you said in this post. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist to help me work through getting off these last 20 pounds. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

  11. Great job on the workout! I’m so proud of you! And I’m SO glad that therapy was therapeutic. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. I am so impressed by your early morning workouts! I wish I could do that, as I am so tired at night! Yummy looking pizza. Glad therapy was good this week. You make me want to go. ๐Ÿ˜€

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