Grieving my Health

I tossed and turned all Sunday night, probably because of my long nap, and as a result did not wake up at 5 am as planned. I woke up with just enough time to get ready, eat breakfast and make it out the door on time. For breakfast, I had a bowl of shredded wheat with a banana, walnuts, milk, cinnamon and nutmeg. I like the addition of the nutmeg, it added a little warmth.

Work was hectic and I got hungry early. I ate a colby jack cheese stick

and five prunes. This was my first time having prunes but for some reason I really wanted to try them when I saw the jar at Whole Foods. I was pleasantly surprised, they are nice and sweet!

I had some errands to run for work and had a handful of NUTrition nuts on my way out to stave off hunger.

While I was out, I picked up lunch at Firebird’s for The Pro, T and myself. I ordered the grilled salmon with plain baked potato

and a house salad. It was a great lunch and the salad was really good even though I have been feeling the salads lately.

The afternoon breezed by and before I knew it, it was snack time. I had greek yogurt with lemon curd and cherries. It was awesome, the cherry and lemon really complimented each other.

Shortly thereafter, I left work and received a phone call from the pharmacy to let me know that the replacement drug for the one I tried to get the other day would be $150!  I, of course, told them not to fill it and promptly called my insurance company. Apparently, my employer has reduced our coverage to keep the same rates. And since the insurance is completely company paid, they don’t have to let us know these things.

So, I stewed the entire way home and ended up in binge mode once I got home. I are ALOT of bread while I cooked dinner and then ate the dinner. For dinner I made open faced turkey meatball subs. The reason they were open faced is because I ate all of the tops.

After dinner, I ate three of the lacey cookies I bought from TJ’s.

I felt sick afterwrds. I was miserable and went to bed. I didn’t realize until this morning what sent me into a binge. I’m not sure if you have been following my medical problems but some of them are related to my job. I take allergy meds because of my grass allergy. An allergy that I didn’t know I had until I worked here because the only grass I am allergic to is the kind that covers 668 acres of the golf course. I have seasonal affective disorder which is complicated by working in a office that is the attic with no windows. I never had symptoms until my first fall/winter here. And now, I can’t afford the medication I have been taking for my chronic acid relux which is also the only medication that has worked. I have tried them all and the though of having to pay so much for it all of a sudden is sickening. Some might say I am blessed to have a job but at this point, it feels like a curse.

Thought Provoker: What would be your breaking point of job induced health related issues? I think I might be reacing mine.

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18 Responses

  1. Hope you sleep better tonight!!

    Prunes + nuts + lacey cookies = yum!!!!! 🙂

    Ahh, so sorry about feeling sick – please hang in there, Christie with work and everything.

  2. I actually left my last job due to my health. I was in such a high stress position (the only payroll clerk for almost 400 people) that I had horrible digestive problems and such stress tension in my back that I could barely stand. I had just turned 30 and told myself (and my hubby) that enough was enough! I promptly set out on a job search and left there soon after. I also strongly believe that if you work a job that upsets you to the point of tears, you need to move on.

    I hope today is better for you and you find resolution for your meds. Reading your post today really makes me understand how lucky I am that Canada has a great health care system.

  3. I love prunes! My grandpa introduced them to me.

    When I am not happy and have physical issues, then I know it is time to move on!

    Feel better soon!

  4. That’s hard. I was really stressed and unhappy with my last job towards the end of it, but I also knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be ultimately. I sometimes wonder if I didn’t get pregnant right away because of the stress of my job. I got pregnant about two weeks after I left. 🙂

  5. Mm, I’ve never tried prunes before but those look really good. As do the meatball subs and the cookies!

    I’m really sorry to hear about the job-related stress and allergies. I definitely know what you mean about golf course grass because I’m allergic myself — it’s not fun. I can imagine that it does not make your job fun. I would say that when a job is compromising my health and happiness…that would be my time to start looking elsewhere.

  6. Ugh. Health insurance is the absolute worst. I don’t know anyone who is completely happy with theirs. I currently don’t even have any, which is ridiculous I know, but so expensive and I don’t get paid for student teaching.

    Anyway, I hope you feel better. Oh and I am not sure about prunes in a jar, but mine are dried and usually come like raisins. Interesting. They’re declisious,aren’t they? Have you tried dates? I can’t remember if I’ve seen you with them.

  7. That’s a very good question of the day. I’ve been at the same job for 17 years, although there have been more times than not that I really dislike it. Apparently,
    “change is fun and easy” is NOT one of my core beliefs. 😉

    I have never considered exactly how many physical symptoms would be enough to make me say “enough” but it certainly is a valid question. I think the severe allergies you are suffering, would be enough for me to start to search elsewhere. Anything that would be chronic and really impede my quality of life would make me want to look for a better option.

  8. the meatball subs look divine!!!
    i totally agree with jen by saying health and happiness are huge factors when it comes to keeping or leaving a job.
    hope today is MUCH better!

  9. Good job identifying your triggers. I’m so sorry your health is suffering because of your job. 😦 I’m glad tomorrow is Wednesday.
    And I’m proud of you for continuing to eat dinner and stuff and not just having the attitude of: F it. You know what I mean?
    I think if I lapse back into patters that are unhealthy for me and I can’t turn it around, then I need to look at if my job is worth it. I’m kind of on high alert these days.
    Loved your e-mail yesterday btw. 🙂

  10. Sorry about your stressful day. Dealing with medical coverage and insurance sucks sometimes. Boo. Keep your head up 🙂

  11. i think that you are the best sole judge of whether this job is worth it – your health is SO important, that no amount of paychecks can possibly trump it. and when your health suffers, your mentality also gets shaken and it’s just not right, you deserve better – i’m sorry that i can’t be of more help, but i really trust that you’ll make whatever decision you see most suitable for you – you are such a self-aware and wise woman, i really don’t doubt you for a second.

  12. i’m with the others about if you’re job is creating an unhealthy environment for you, or unhealthy symptoms and you’re not happy, then i would def think of changing.

    hope today is better!

  13. i definitely love prunes, too. all your meals look really delicious. i hope your health gets better! i have esophagitis (not sure how to spell it), and i take nexium for it. i know how you feel, so you aren’t alone.

  14. I have actually been meaning to eat prunes! LOL
    The best I have ever done is pureed them and place it in a banana oatmeal cookie as a binding agent with flax seed. LOL

  15. yeah that sucks. I hope you can resolve the allergy. I think you have a valid reason to start looking elsewhere. Do you like your job?

  16. Oh Christie! I’m so sorry you haven’t been feeling well! I would say it depends how much you enjoy your job, and how much the pros weigh compared with the cons. I really hope things look up for you though! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughs, and crossing fingers you feel better!

    On a brighter note, the open face subs and salmon look pretty yummy!

    Happy Wednesday!

  17. Thanks for all of the comments, guys, it is good to know I have such a strong support system

    Dan, my job has it’s ups and downs. Most of what I do bores me to tears but I truly enjoy the people that I work with. I am actally in the midst of starting a career as a writer so this job is just a paycheck to me at this point. And with my medical issues related to it, I wonder if I should stay.

  18. I think you should look elsewhere actually. It doesn’t sound like your job is any more than a fill in. You are obviously a nice person and so you will meet good people at any job. But having said that there is no rush….really. Could just look once a week and if something really grabs you then go for it. Let us know what the doctor says…..you changing medication?

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