Yesterday, I woke up and hit the treadmill at 5:00 am. I’m not real sure what compelled me to do it, but I did it. After sweating it out for 30 minutes, I had a quick breakfast. I made a bowl of shredded wheat n bran with banana, walnuts and milk. And once again, I remembered the cinnamon after the photo!
Work was really slow which makes the day drip by. I’d much rather I be slamming busy that slow. Around 10:00, I had a little container of leftover kale and a roast beef and havarty roll up. Not sure what happened to my pic of the roll up.
I had some errands to run for work so I picked up sushi for T and I. I got my new favorite shirmp tempura roll with brown rice. I ended up eating the whole roll though 2/3 was probably enough.
Shortly after lunch, I had two tiny cookies. This was a new item I had never seen before and it seemed interesting. Immaculate Baking Company Sweet Georgia Brownie. These were crispy with loads of chocolate flavor. Though I was in the mood for chewy, these knocked out my sweet tooth without a problem.
I had a therapy appointment after work which I had been dreading since she suggested medication last week. On the way, I stopped by Starbucks and picked up one of the new signature hot chocolates. I forgot to snap a photo but at this point, I’m sure you know what the cup looks like 🙂 The hot chocolate was OK, it tasted very much like the mocha latte without the espresso. I’m not sure that I would buy it again as I prefer creamy hot cocoa.
Therapy was hard. We talked alot about medication and how her suggesting it made me feel. To be honest, it made me think I must be crazy if meds will fix my problems. We ended up deciding to start with light therapy to help with my SAD and exercise to include 30 minutes of cardio everyday along with a few days per week of yoga to help with my general anxiety and depression. I guess what scares me about this is that when I feel depressed, I don’t have any motivation to do the things that I know make me feel better. I am going to try and make the effort but exercise has never been my strong suit.
We also discussed my career and my desire to change it. I recently decided that I want to pursue freelance writing while I write a book. For years, my dream was to write a book and for years I had convinced myself that it just wouldn’t happen for me. But with the help of my friend, Monica, my therapist and this blog, I realized that I am the only one that can make my dreams happen. The problem is that, financially, my income is important and having a substantial savings is important.
I have to balance my desire with my need for a paycheck. I have a ton of research to do in order to make it happen but my desire to just jump in head first is so strong that it is making my day to day life at work miserable. I think the key is that I need to find a way to begin my pursuit while maintaining my “real” job. I have to be responsible, especially in these economic times. This thought continued to depress me after my therapy session was over.
Once home, I stewed for a while before realizing I was hungry, my head was pounding and I wanted to sleep. made a very fast dinner of grilled ham and cheese. It was not gourmet, but it was my means to an end.
QOTD: Are you living your dream? If not, what is it and what steps are you taking to make it happen?