Yesterday, I woke up around 7 again but this time, not feeling so great. I felt like I had a hangover despite the fact that I haven’t drank any alcohol in ages. I wanted oats, so I made a small bowl on the stop top with a 1/4 cup oats, water and half a banana. Once it was done, I topped it with a splash of hemp milk and an almond butter spoon. It was warm and comforting and just what I wanted.
After breakfast, I blogged and then did a 50 minute morning vinyasa yoga flow from yogadownload.com. It was a very challenging flow for me as there were a couple of inversions that I never learned how to get myself into when I was practicing in a studio. The first being forearm stand and the second being handstand. I was able to get into shoulder stand at the end without toppling though. After the yoga practice, I felt energized and ready to face the world.
After a quick shower, I had my second mini meal of the day. It was the same chicken sausage and cold roasted Brussels sprouts from Saturday so I thought a picture was unnecessary. This time, I served myself only 6 sprouts since it was what it took the day before. And today, that wasn’t enough so I went back and had what was left of them.
For some reason, my mood took a nose dive from there. The dear husband was out on his long run and he was running later than expected, no pun intended. I started to worry and full time anxiety kicked in. He ran by the driveway as I was standing in the door and waved. He held up one finger letting me know he had one more mile to go. For some reason, this did not ease my mind. I paced around the house trying to focus on my Sunday cooking activities and nothing was helping. Once he was home, showered and settled, I made him a triple decker recovery sandwich and as he was eating it, I started crying.
I am still not sure what was really wrong with me, I went from happy, dancing and singing to anxious. I felt lonely while he was away and once he returned, I guess I just released all of the feelings. After my short cry, I felt a little better and made another small meal. It was very boring and uninspired. I had a little of the chicken I had been roasting during the morning on a whole wheat pita with romaine. I had a little honey mustard for dipping.
I was still a bit hungry once I was done with it so I had a tiny bowl of the 17 bean soup I had on the stove.
After that, I felt a little better and just wanted to rest. We rented an on demand movie, Meet the Browns, and I fell asleep within minutes. When I woke up, I had a very quiet feeling going on, like I was deep within myself. It is so hard to explain. I wasn’t feeling anxious or sad anymore, just quiet.
I finally made dinner a couple hours after waking. I made roasted acorn squash with parmesan and breadcrumbs. I used the recipe that Sarah used for her party, but it didn’t turn out the same, it was delicious, but not as good as hers. She used butter and I used olive oil, I guess that is the reason why.
I also sauteed a couple of crab cakes that we had in the freezer from Whole Foods. I made a spicy aioli to go on top. I ended up burning the crab cakes and putting too much rooster sauce in the mayo. I was really “off” I guess.
For dessert, I had a small handful of dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts. They reminded me of our honeymoon when we went to the macadamia nut farm. I think I liked them better in Hawaii 🙂
As I look back on the day that I had a whirlwind of emotions, I am thankful that I just sat in my feelings instead of turning to food. At one point, while I was folding laundry, I thought about just noshing until I couldn’t feel anything but I made the decision that food was not my solution. I’m not sure what triggered such a negative feeling sort of day but I am glad I came out of it without any food guilt.
QOTD: Do you have days where you feel flooded with negative emotion and you just can’t figure out why?