I woke up yesterday with the intention of doing an hour of yoga but when I checked my blog and I saw how many problems I was having, I kind of fell into panic mode I made some breakfast and fixed the problems that I could with the little time I had. I made grits with milk and topped them off with two sunny side up eggs.

On the side, I had an almost perfectly ripe banana.

I ended up going into work a little late and had lunch only a couple of hours after arriving. I started with a big salad made by the chef

and then had a sandwich thin with almond butter.

A simple yet satisfying meal. After work, I had a date with my friend, Kristin. We were meeting for dinner before group since we were meeting on my work’s side of town this week. We settled on Jason’s Deli which neither of us had ever tried. I read about it in Health Magazine on Sunday and had been anxious to try it ever since. I reviewed the menu online and knew just what I wanted. I ordered the ciabatta garden

and vegetable soup. Kristin and I were so busy chatting, I forgot to take a picture until the soup was almost gone!

I really enjoyed Jason’s Deli and being able to chat with someone other than a therapist about my “issues”. But for some reason, once I got to group, I was sealed shut. I barely did any talking and I seemed to zone out for most of it. I hadn’t read the material and I just didn’t seem to want to be there. I guess sessions like that happen. I stayed after to discuss setting up an appointment, the leader this week is a RD who specializes in ED and Intuitive Eating, and while we chatted, she reassured me that I only have to “bite off what I can chew”, no pun intended, at one time. The good news is, I have an appointment with her next week!

After therapy, I went home and went to bed. It had been a long day and I was wiped out!

Also, don’t forget to check out Mara’s contest for Dark Chocolate Covered Cocoa Nibs!

Advice: Anyone know ANYTHING about RSS feeds and how to get my problem fixed?

I am so excited to unveil my new website www.whatiateyesterday.com. It has been a long time in the making but I think it will be worth it. Please shoot on over there and let me know what you think! Also, be sure to update your blogrolls and google readers!

I look forward to seeing you there! 

*edited to add* I seem to be having techinal problems with google reader, thank you for being patient. Looks like you will have to copy and paste the new address until it is working properly

*edited to add again* for some reason, the redirect also is not working properly. It is leading back to my old blog instead of my new one. Sigh. Sorry for all the problems.

By the time I was doing moving my body, I was hungry. I mean stomach rip roaring growling hungry! I heated up a bowl of overnight oat bran, in the bowl was 1/3 cup oat bran, 1 cup milk, 1 tbsp ground flax seed, 1 mashed banana, 1 tsp of brown sugar and a pinch of salt. I added some water to thin it out and then topped it with cashew macadamia nut butter and a few chocolate chips. We are calling this bowl overnight elvis oat bran

Work was productive and lunch time came fast. We didn’t do our usual Monday routine and instead, T and I packed lunch. I brough whole wheat couscous, a texas veggie burger, ripeavocado chunks, colorful pepper chunks and bbq sauce. It all seemed like a weird combination but it turned out wonderful! I loved it!

For lunch dessert # 1, I had this juicy orange

and for lunch dessert # 2, I had a reese’s heart.

In the late afternoon, I dove into my snack so fast I almost forgot to photograph it. I had my usual greek yogurt with berries.

For dinner, the dear husband and I met at Ukrop’s since I was meeting with my new therapist at 6. I had crab salad on a whole wheat pita,

three bean salad

and a ghiradelli chocolate caramel square.

Therapy went well though she was heavy on the perfume. My regular therapist is out of maternity leave so I have a temporary one for three months. I connected with her right away which I was really thankful for. Her approach is very different that my regular therapist but I think I will take well to it. It is essential for me to have a solid treatment team while I go through my group therapy and I think this new therapist will be a strong foundation.

When I arrived home, there was a package waiting for me! Mara at I Made Dinner sent me an array of Penzy’s spices for winning the BSI a couple of weeks ago. In the package was my beloved florida seasoning, cake spice, zatar seasoning, greed goddess dressing mix and sicilian salad topper. I can’t wait to dig into all of them!

After chatting with Mara for a bit, I was feeling hungry. I had a small bowl of cocoa pebbles with milk that really hit the spot. Shortly after, I was in bed with my book.

Question: What have you accomplished lately that makes you feel proud? For me, it is getting into wheel pose, for sure!

• Shannon at Tri to Cook: Kale Skins
• Jenna at Eat, Live Run: BBQ Beans with Kale
• Kath at KathEats: Butternut Squash and Kale Soup
• Mara at What’s For Dinner: Zuppa Toscana Ala Mara
• Brandi at BranAppetit: Green, Eggs and Ham Pizza & Creamy Curried Lentil and Kale Soup
• Sweetie Pie at Just Sweet Enough: Crispy Kale Salad with toasted Walnuts and Pomegranate Drizzle
• Laure at Hey, Mom, What’s For dinner: Sauteed Greens
• Sarah at Tales of Expansion: Kale Crust Pizza & Stuffed Kale Leaves
• Spiceaholic at One Bite at a Time: Panchphoran Potatoes and Kale
• Scrumptious at In My Box: Raw Kale Salad
• Erin at Life is Yumbo: Imposter Pesto Sauce
• Becca at Bites of the Day: Garam Masala Kale
• Hallie at Healthy Twists: Chickpea and Kale Curry
• Biz at Biggest Diabetic Loser: Bean Soup with Winter Vegetables
• Vani at Fit for Free: Kale and Mushroom Pancakes

In the end, I asked the dear husband for some help in choosing. Since I don’t eat meat (except fish), I didn’t want my opinion to be biased and he eats everything so I knew he would pick a good one. He reviewed the recipes and the one I was secretly pulling for was the one he chose!

Drumroll please……..

The winner is….Sarah from Tales of Expansion for her Kale Crust Pizza! Overall, we both agreed that Sarah’s use of kale was the most creative. On top of that, we are both pizza lovers and we thought this was an excellent way to make it healthier. I’m sure you will be seeing this again and again around these parts

Congratulations, Sarah! Email me at whatiateyesterday [at] gmail dot com and we will discuss your prize!

And now, I pass the BSI torch onto one of my favorite bloggers Sweetie Pie at Just Sweet Enough. Sweetie Pie is new on the food blogging front and with her gorgeous photos, fabulous recipes and witty writing, I think she will soon become one of your favorites as well!

We traveled over the weekend so we planned to have a late breakfast. To tide me over, I had a banana with a cashew macadamia nut butter smear. It did a fantastic job of holding me over, I now know why so many fellow bloggers eat this particular snack!

For breakfast, we ate at the Cracker Barrel. I had planned to get pancakes and eggs only to discover their new skillet meals on the meni. I ordered the veggie skillet with sunny side up eggs, light on the cheese.  It was loaded with roasted broccoli, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and potatoes.

OMG! This was a killer breakfast, the dear husband ordered the same thing and asked me to duplicate it at home only a few bites in. It was a load of food and I only finished about 3/4 of it. But I saved a little room for breakfast dessert; a biscuit with grape jam. Need I say more?

After breakfast, we made the three hour drive home. On our way, we stopped in town and did a few errands. I had an unphotographed grande half caf 2 pump vanilla latte while we were out. Once we arrived home, I had a handful of almonds

and a bowl of grapes.

After more errands and some laundry, I hung out with the most recent copy of Health magazine and my treadmill. I walked for 45 minutes and relieved all the tension from the long drive. I took a quick shower and then got started on dinner. I wanted to make something quick and easy so I made mustard BBQ sauce glazed salmon

with half a baked sweet potato topped with cinnamon

and steamed yellow and green beans with carrots. I tossed the veggies in garlic.

After dinner, we finally sat down to relax. I had a couple of reese’s hearts to cure my sweet tooth

and finally went to bed with my book.

Overall, my weekend was pretty good. How was yours?

One of the biggest issues I’ve had to face in the past couple of years is finding my balance with my eating. I joined Weight Watchers in 2003 and made goal at the very end of 2004, after a bit of trial and error. Once I made Lifetime (maintained at my goal weight for 6 weeks), I, of course, assumed I knew everything and that I could just do what I wanted.

So, that’s what I did. I didn’t completely give up all the good habits I had formed or start eating all unhealthy foods, but I definitely had a little rebellion. I think I just felt some sort of entitlement – I had lost the weight, so now I deserved to have whatever I wanted, in whatever quantities I wanted, and I would be fine.

A few months later, I realized I was no longer at my goal weight. Not only that, but I had somehow formed some really bad and unhealthy habits that I did not have before I reached goal! It was almost like starting over, and it has taken me the past 2 years to get back to my personal goal and to get rid of those bad habits.

In this entire process of losing, gaining, losing and finally finding my balance, I think these are the most important things I’ve learned:

• All foods have a place in my life. One bad habit I had formed was thinking of foods as “good” or “bad”, which led to this “all or nothing” attitude that was the main reason I gained some weight back. If I ate something “bad”, I would just give up on that day/week/month and eat whatever I wanted and lots of it. I didn’t pay attention to the servings sizes I knew so well or make sure I got in fruits and veggies that day. I don’t know exactly what changed my thinking, but allowing myself to eat anything and not label any foods as “bad” has really changed how I view food. I do try to eat healthy foods most of the time, but I’m not going to ignore a craving for onion rings, either.

• I crave what I eat, and I don’t crave what I don’t eat. As easy as that sounds, it was hard to realize it and intentionally put it into action. I don’t try to cut out sugar completely (as you can see from all my truffle reviews!), but I noticed something interesting one day. I guess I hadn’t had much sugar in a few weeks (or at least non-natural sugar) and a coworker brought in these amazing donuts one day. I decided I wanted one, so I took one back to my office and ate it and enjoyed it. Just a few minutes later, I felt this huge craving for another – I guess this is what they call the sugar rush – it was almost ridiculous! I just had this unstoppable urge to get another, and another, and…it was all I could think about! I didn’t get one because I knew what would happen if I did, but I had never really felt that crazy rush before. It still happens every now and then if I have something that I haven’t had in a while. The quickest way to stop the intense sugar cravings? Stop feeding the sugar monster!! At least for a week or two. I’m telling you, the cravings will subside. I’ve also found that I crave healthy foods when I’m eating healthy foods. Don’t get me wrong – I still want chocolate. But the more healthy foods I eat, the more I want.

• Exercising makes me treat myself better. One major thing that has changed in my life just in the past year is that I started running. I was “kind of” maintaining my weight for the 3 years before I started running, but some amazing things happened after. I started seeing myself in a different light. I saw what I could do and still couldn’t do, but I was at least out there doing something. I started being able to run a little longer, a little farther. I would bundle up and go running in the cold. Moving more made me want to eat healthier and take care of myself. I don’t think it matters what activity you do – if you’re moving and using your body, you’re more aware of everything that is going on (your body, your mind, and your spirit). A lot of those bad habits ended in this past year, and I think running played a big part for me. I couldn’t go for a good run (or even want to) if I had just eaten anything and everything I could get my hands on since I “messed up” at lunch. My views about my food, my self, my habits, and my motivations have changed and all for the better.

It definitely has not been easy, and there have been many times when I just wanted to give up. But I’m the only one that can take care of me. I realized that if I give up on this, there’s no hope. I want to have a long, healthy, happy life – but I have to work for it and sweat for it because no one else can do it for me.

I can’t say that I have this balance thing figured out completely, but I try. Every day is a new chance to find it. Some days will look completely different than the day before – but don’t worry! It’ll all balance out.

If you have any questions, please email me at branappetit [at] gmail dot com or visit my blog and leave me a comment! And thanks for reading!

Thanks so much for letting me do a guest post, Beadie!

Hi Guys, it’s me, Beadie! I hope that you enjoyed Brandi’s guest post! I wanted to remind you one last time that tonight is the deadline to get your BSI entry in. Remember, in order to be entered, you have to email me with a link to your blog post that has the recipe. All the entries so far look great, not sure how I am going to choose!

Work was fairly productive but I was surely happy it was Friday. I had planned to eat leftovers from Thursday but staff lunch caught my eye, instead. I had a little bit of pasta salad

a slice of vegetable pizza

and a small salad with oil and vinegar.

For lunch dessert, I had an orange.

The afternoon went by fairly quickly and I was able to get my desk all caught up. It is the best feeling to leave work on Friday with your work all done. Before I left, I had a little greek yogurt mixed with thawed berries. Look at the beautiful color!

After work, I did some grocery shopping and then headed home. Inspired by my groceries, I made black bean enchiladas. These were the best enchiladas I have ever made! Though, as I wrote and prepared the recipe, I thought I had cilantro from the grocery store and come to find out, I had picked up flat leaf parsley so I ended up using dried.  None the less, they were fantastic and will make it to the blue jar, for sure.

For dessert, I had an odd craving and I went with it. For some reason, I wanted toast with jam! So, I toasted an Arnold Sandwich thin and smeared one side with peach jam

and the other with fig jam.

Both sides were delicious but I think I really wanted grape jam which we don’t have, ironically. The dear husband and I are mildly obsessed with jams and jellies and we even have a rule about how many we can own at a time. So, not having grape is pretty funny

And another reminder for your BSI entries! Please email them to me at whatiateyesterday [at] gmail dot com before midnight tomorrow night (Sunday)!

Question: I will be taking my blog to it’s own domain soon and would like some feedback on what you would like to see more/less of. Your feedback and comments mean so much to me!

Yesterday was a little easier than Wednesday but I still had a few episodes of overwhelming emotion. I didn’t get up in time to work out because I had cry baby head and it was pounding. I got up around 6 to get ready for work and made a big cup of coffee. Once I was ready, I heated up a bowl of overnight oat bran, which, by the way, is my new favorite food. In a bowl, I added 1/3 cup oat bran, 1 cup milk and a pinch of salt; I let it sit in the fridge overnight. I popped it in the microwave for about 4 minutes, added a little extra water, ground flax seed, a chopped banana and, of course, a cashew macadamia nut butter spoon. Good to the very last drop, be prepared to see ALOT of this fabulous health food in the future.

For lunch, I was feeling the need for a little comfort food and T seemed to be reading my mind. We split a grilled cheese and tomato on wheat sandwich

and a bowl of Amy’s tomato soup I brought from home.

On the side, I had The Chef made me a salad that I topped with rice vinegar and olive oil.

A few hours later, my stomach was growling pretty intensely so I had some greek yogurt with mixed berries. I was so focused on the fact that I only had a fork at my desk to eat it with that I forgot to snap a picture. I eat it so often, I am sure you guys know what it looks like

When I got home, I made dinner for the dear husband and I. I sauteed a couple of Quorn cutlets and topped them with homemade marinara sauce and served it over 100% whole wheat spinach pasta. For garnish and a punch of flavor, I added a few parmesan cheese curls.

On the side we had steamed broccoli with garlic and and olive oil drizzle.

For dessert, I had a square of frozen tiger butter. So good, perfect way to end a meal!

Don’t forget, only a few more days to email me your BSI recipes!

Question: Do you have a food blog? Why did you start it? If you don’t, why do you read?

For the next hour, I laid there, tossing and turning and not going back to a place that my brother is alive and well. I forced myself out of bed and went through the motions of my day. At work, I was ravaged with emotion. Work things were crazy as well as my heart was aching. I longed to talk to my mother, I knew she would understand. I emailed with my friends, I even reached out to my new group friends. I just wanted my pain to stop. I wanted ED to stop telling me that chocolate would fix it all, that stuffing it down would make it feel better.

After a painful and not very productive day, I left work and called my mom. I told her about the dream and she told me that she thinks it is good that we dream of him. With that, we tunred to our favorite subject, food. I guess it is just hard for us to talk about the most painful part of our life. Though, Ithink this converstation was a step in the right direction.

Moments after we hung up the phone, the song I refer to as “my brothers song” came on the radio. The name of the song is “I can only imagine” by Mercy Me and it was sang at my brothers funeral. I will never listen to that song without thinking of him and weeping. This time, I was sitting at a red light and I closed my eyes. The tears came gushing out. I was bawling, I didn’t regard the others sitting in traffic around me, I just cried. Then, it dawned on me that I had to drive, I had to be alert for the light to turn green. I just wanted to be in the parking lot of my destiation only few hundred feet  away.  I sang the lirics with all of my heart and finally, when my parking spot arrived, I closed my eyes and tears began to flow even more freely.

The song came to an end and I knew that my brother was with me. He wanted me to know that he stands by me and is proud of me and the steps that I am taking in my life. I walked into Ukrops to meet my dear husband feeling so overwhelmed by emotion that I had that floating feeling that means a binge is just around the corner. I approached the salad bar and the first thing I saw was banana pudding. It was my brother again, he was reminding me that he was there. I was repeating to my self over and over ED is knocking but I won’t let him in.

I filled a very large salad container with all the things I love but never “allow” myself to eat in larger quatities than a bite or two. I filled the whole container and I remember wondering what the cashier was thinking when I took all of that food up there. I sat down at a table and once the dear husband arrived, I started to eat. ED was knocking so loud and I finally let him in. I reminded myself that through this recovery process, sometimes I will still need ED. Leaning on ED doesn’t mean that I won’t one day heal from this. It doesn’t make me bad.

Once there was not more food to eat, I stopped. I felt stuffed to the gills. I wanted to vomit. Alas, I had to go to group therapy. I think the binge was the only thing that got me there, really. I’m glad I went because it was good to be in a room of people that understood what it feels like to be so overcome that food is the only answer.

I came home and listened to my brothers song and cried until there were no more tears to cry. I know he is in my heart and hopefully he will come back and visit me in my dreams again soon. Until then, I hope he knows I’m doing the best that I can and that I miss him so much.

After my workout and yoga, I got ready for work and then made breakfast. I wanted to change up my weekday routine so I decided to make grits and eggs. I never have grits and eggs during the week, boy, I am really liking my new work schedule!

Work was much calmer, thankfully. Around 10:30, I was a little hungry so I had some grapes. I didn’t photograph them because I have been eating so many of them these days. For lunch, I started with a small salad made by the chef

and then had a variation on the BBQ tempeh from Monday night. I had it with whole wheat couscous and more of Kath’s slaw. Yum! I liked this version better than the sando version!!

For lunch dessert, I had a fruit plate from the staff lunch. I really enjoyed the melon the most!

I was in the office alone most of the afternoon and worked hard to fight off hunger. I guess it had been a hungry day but I held out until 3:30. I had greek yogurt with mixed berries but I still felt hungry after

Once I got home from work, I made pecan and cornmeal crusted wild flounder

with a quick tartar sauce on the side. I used mayo, mustard, garlic, onion, dill pickle, pickle juice, cayenne and lemon. All to taste, of course

For some good green veg, I made roasted Brussels sprouts. All together, this was a lovely meal.

For dessert we had bowls of warm chocolate pudding…mmmm

First thing this morning, I rounded up all the comments for my Country Bob’s conest, used random.org to generate a number and came up with Lee from For the Love of Peanut Butter! Congratulations, Lee, I will email you today!

Don’t forget to submit your BSI recipes to me by Sunday!